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Welcome to Sage Parenting, a bullshit-free zone where compassionate connection and informed choices reign.

Books: Take a little scientific research, add authentic mothering heart, mix in some professional experience perspective, told through snarky humor, and wrapped in a warm hug, and you are standing in the Sage Parenting bookstore.

Coaching: You’re stuck; you’re challenged; you’ve lost your step. I will take you by the hand and lead you to the other side.

Classes: San Diego families get to come together in person for the fun experience of a baby massage based Sage Parenting class, where calmed babies, empowered parents, and bonded relationships bloom.

Your child deserves it. You are worth it. And the world needs it. Let’s do this.

Free Blog Post

While discrimination against breastfeeding in public is completely without merit, there are a few ignorant arguments that have been repeated so often they warrant addressing. So let’s get a few things straight:

2. Breasts are used during sex, therefore not appropriate in public.

Breasts are erogenous zones that can be used for sexual arousal just like mouths, fingers, necks, etc. It is acceptable to use your mouth to eat in public, as that is its primary function. It is acceptable to breastfeed in public, as that is your breasts’ primary function.

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If you feel that this is the right choice for you and your baby, I can offer you a strategy for night weaning that maintains the dignity, respect, empathy, and compassion with which you parent. This strategy contains no CIO (Cry-It-Out) and does not deny your child you, your comfort, your contact, or your love.

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Research: Legit science, yo.

There was a study47 (which proved to be a cornerstone of infant sleep research) that proved that sleep training extinguishes the communication but not the physiological distress. Even after the communication is extinguished (the baby stops crying), the stress response (elevated cortisol level) is still present! Think about that and really let it sink in. This means that Baby is not “learning to self-soothe.” Baby is learning not to bother asking her mother for help when she is in distress because her mother does not care for her. Baby is not suddenly no longer in distress—Baby has just lost trust in her parent.

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“Don’t talk to strangers.”
“Just Say No.”
“Abstinence only.”

These were all programs designed to keep our kids healthy and safe that have been undeniably and quantitatively proven failures. Most of us were told not to talk to strangers by our parents, teachers, and the media. Teaching your children not to talk to strangers was a simple strategy parents loved and kids easily understood, but it was based on an erroneous assessment of danger and deprived children of the skills they need to interact safely with others. Instead, parents need to guide their children through the sea of complex human interaction and arm them with the skills and knowledge they need to stay safe.

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...Naps: one of the most grossly misunderstood and over-controlled aspects of parenting. I would like you to gather up every physical handout, digital file, and piece of advice you have received detailing when, how, and for how long your child should be napping, and shred them.

“According to a systematic review of 22 studies on normal infant sleep at 2 months of age, babies’ total sleep over 24 hours ranged from 9.3 to 20 hours. Yeah, it’s that variable.”32 Every little one is different....

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“Well, I was spanked and I turned out fine.”

Children can be resilient. Some children are forced to endure all kinds of experiences that are not in their best interest and some of them turn out just fine. Many of them do not. My father has said, “We never had seat belts and we all turned out fine,” to which I respond, “Except all the kids who died in car accidents aren’t here to say they didn’t turn out fine.” You are not the same person as your child. Each of your children will be vastly different, containing within them varying attributes of risk and resiliency. Just because you walked away from physical abuse and a parenting style based on fear does not mean that your child will.

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The time period after the birth of a baby is the period of time reported to have the lowest marital satisfaction. I don’t see this as a lack of marital satisfaction, per se, but a huge shift in . . . everything. The focus shifts from each other to nurturing a new life to survive and thrive. Who you are and the way you saw the world are both changing. A whole new dimension has been added to your marital relationship: co-parent. All these shifts provide an amazing opportunity to deepen and strengthen your connection with each other. As with most things, you can tap into the potential of this opportunity with information (know what to expect and why) and communication (safe and open). Be patient. Be creative. You can get back in the saddle once again, and the ride can be even better.

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Meet West. He is two years old. He has the hair of a Greek god with the adventurous spirit and gleaming smile to match. He converses with anyone who will listen, has deeply empathetic connections with others, is the youngest of our hearty three-boy superhero squad, is as tall as a four year old, and happens to be the runningest runner who ever lived.

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I am the biggest advocate of allowing children to develop and mature on their own timeline. I think the piece that is missing from the potty training coversation is that what we are really doing nowadays is undiapering – undoing the daiper training we have already done. We spend the first year(s) of our babies’ lives training them to urinate and defecate into a receptacle that completely disconnects them from their elimination system. The process of potty learning is really the process of removing the diaper from the equation so that your babe can get back in touch with his body.

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