“I Won’t Be Ignored!”

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“You’re not listening to me!” I’ve got news for you: your child hears you just fine. Listening is not the problem. “Not listening” has become a catchall diagnosis of parent-child discontent in the same way that most couples enter marital therapy with a “communication problem.” Unless you both literally don’t speak the same language, that is not the problem. What is so maddening about your child “not listening” is that you feel ignored. “I won’t be ignored!” (Fatal Attraction reference my Dad jokingly hijacked). It’s a big trigger for full time parents because being ignored all day means that you […]

Asked and Answered

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When your child makes a request, REFLECT: “You want to go to the store and get a new Jesse guy.” VALIDATE: “You are saying this is very important to you because your Jesse guy broke.” CONSIDER: Try to find a way to say yes. “We could go to the store tomorrow after school and you could bring your allowance money and see if you have enough.” RESPOND: Clearly respond. “We cannot go to the store today.” EXPLAIN: We have too many things we already have to do today like soccer and a doctor’s appointment. NEGOTIATE: If your children are clever […]