Miscarriage 2

Miscarriage: A Year After Pregnancy Loss

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Parenting

  I had planned to write this 6 months ago on the anniversary of the loss of the baby that was not to be (you can read that story first here). But as the time came I knew deep in my soul that I was not ready. I knew there would be a day of reflection and that that day was not it. I couldn’t then tell you the exact anniversary date. I felt the passage of a solar circle but I stayed away from the calendar. I immersed myself in the present and kept busy nourishing the relationships and […]

Miscarriage: Living through Pregnancy Loss

Posted 18 CommentsPosted in Parenting

My baby’s heart stopped beating. Such tremendous sadness. I failed. I failed at the only thing I ever thought I never could. I failed at the most basic part of motherhood: giving life. After three perfect pregnancies and babies I was whole. Now I have to live the rest of my life with a small hole in my heart. The strength of my maternal love and optimism has been my undoing. It’s not rational, but it is my raw, real, right now. It can be frustrating that the human mind seeks meaning because sometimes there is none. Sometimes there is just a gaping […]